There’s a moment none of us ever see coming. The moment when fear hits harder and faster than we imagined it could. For me, that moment happened years ago in New Jersey. I wasn’t carrying. I wasn’t in the firearms world. I wasn’t trained, prepared, aware, or confident. I had no plan for danger, because like most people, I never thought something like that would happen to me.
Then it did.
And when I was confronted by a stranger who had a plan to assault me… fear took over, and my body froze.
I share this story in my women’s classes because it shaped so much of how and why I teach today.
At the time, I didn’t understand what the “freeze response” was. I didn’t know how the mind shuts down when it feels overwhelmed. I didn’t know that awareness begins before the threat shows up, and that once adrenaline hits, you’re already playing catch-up.
But I learned fast. And that lesson changed my entire life.
Fear Isn’t the Problem, Panic Is
In the NRA’s piece by Jo Deering, she breaks down something important:
Fear is normal. Fear is protective. Fear sharpens you.
Panic, on the other hand, shuts everything off. Your movement, decision-making, awareness, reasoning.
That’s exactly what happened to me.
There were signs before the attack that I missed because I never imagined something like that happening in the first place. I wasn’t scanning. I wasn’t thinking ahead. I wasn’t mentally rehearsing what I’d do if I was ever in that situation. My mind went blank because it had nothing prepared for how to escape.
And that’s what creates the freeze.
The freeze response is a natural survival reaction. Your body isn’t failing you, it’s trying to protect you the only way it knows how when it doesn’t have a plan or trained response to follow.
It’s not weakness.
It’s not lack of courage.
It’s lack of preparation, both mentally and physically.
Your Body Defaults to Training, Or to Nothing
When the moment hits, your brain doesn’t rise to the occasion.
It falls to the level of your training.
And back then, mine was zero.
I had no physical skills, no plan, no conditioned response, no weapon, and no idea what to do. The freeze wasn’t a choice, it was the only option my untrained mind had.
It was after that experience that everything changed for me:
- I learned about situational awareness.
- I trained my mind to read my surroundings more objectively.
- I learned how predators pick targets.
- I learned the importance of rehearsing “what if” scenarios.
- And eventually, years later, I learned how to use firearms safely, competently, and confidently.
That New Jersey incident is a part of why I became an instructor. I learned the hard way what happens when you’re unprepared, and I want to make sure others walk through the world with the confidence and awareness I didn’t have.
Training is What Stops the Freeze
In Deering’s article, former Secret Service agent Evy Poumpouras says:
“Survival is about mastering yourself and your fear response… being able to think and act while keeping your panic at bay.”
I’ve read her book Becoming Bulletproof, and it’s an incredible read on mindset, awareness, and staying calm under pressure. Her perspective has shaped a lot of how I think about preparation and training.
That’s exactly what good training gives you. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a beginner or experienced, carrying or not carrying.
Proper training builds:
- Mental rehearsal
- Confidence under stress
- Conditioned responses
- Calm decision-making
- The ability to override the freeze
When I teach now, whether it’s a women’s class, a co-ed concealed carry course, or one-on-one training, I carry that lesson with me. Because this isn’t just about shooting. It’s not even just about self-defense. It’s about knowing how to control yourself when chaos hits.
Three Ways to Train Your Brain Before a Threat Ever Shows Up
1. Practice “micro-scanning” everywhere you go
It’s not paranoia, it’s just awareness.
Who’s around you?
What feels out of place?
Where are your exits?
Who’s close enough to enter your space?
You don’t have to be on high alert, just present.
2. Run “what if” scenarios in your head
What if someone approaches you in a parking lot?
What if someone tries to distract you?
What if someone blocks your path?
These mental rehearsals create a roadmap your brain can grab onto quickly, instead of freezing.
3. Train under pressure, not perfection
Perfect, calm shooting on a well-lit range isn’t the kind of pressure where freeze shows up.
We need reps where:
- Your heart rate is up
- Your hands are shaking
- You’re being timed
- There’s noise
- You have to think AND act
Because when your body has done something under stress, it will remember how to do it again.
The Freeze Moment That Shaped How I Teach Today
I wish that New Jersey moment had never happened. But it taught me lessons I now pass on to every student I work with.
I teach awareness the way I wish someone had taught me.
I teach mental preparation because I know what happens when you don’t have it.
I teach firearm competence because I learned how empowering it is to be ready.
And I teach men and women both, because the freeze doesn’t discriminate.
The truth is simple:
When you prepare your mind and train your body, fear becomes information instead of paralysis.
That’s the real goal.
Ready to Build the Skills
No matter your experience level, there’s always room to grow your confidence and awareness.
If you’re ready to train, sign up for a class or schedule a private session.